


Haven't You Heard

by EmbraceTheEccentric



Series: Gods Are People Too [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Temporary Character Death, moms fighting over custody, you know how it is with them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-09-29 11:24:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17202575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbraceTheEccentric/pseuds/EmbraceTheEccentric
Summary: Death has never been the end for the IPRE crew but who exactly has claim over their souls once they pass?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally meant to be one chapter but then it became longer than expected and the second half is taking a while to fine tune so I split them. Part 2 will hopefully be up soon.

The Raven Queen let out a sigh as her reaper Kravitz paced by her for what must have been the thousandth time in the last half hour. The obsidian tiling of the throne room only served to amplify his steps and the sound was slowly driving her insane.

“Have no fear, my dear Kravitz.” She called out, causing the reaper to freeze mid-step. “Your beloved will be among the dead soon enough.”

“Many wouldn’t take comfort in that fact, my Lady.” Kravitz acknowledged with a nervous chuckle. He paused in his pacing to properly face his queen. “Truly though, I can’t thank you enough. I understand the decision to make Lup and Barry reapers, but there’s much less necessity to have Taako join your court.” He gave a humble bow, head only raising when he heard the Raven Queen let out a huff. 

“Of course there’s necessity.” She said as she shook her head. The Raven Queen gave a soft smile as Kravitz’s face scrunched in confusion. “You should be able to stay by your husband’s side at all times, Kravitz.” Kravitz’s mouth curved into a smile to match hers. While Kravitz would have been free to visit Taako’s soul in the Astral Plane, the visitation would be extremely limited both in time and places to go. Taako would be bound to the Astral Plane whereas if he were a reaper, he would be free to go wherever Kravitz went.

Before Kravitz could return to his pacing, a rift was torn open in the throne room and through it stepped Barry. Kravitz watched as he adjusted the tie of his dark denim suit before giving a small bow of respect towards the Raven Queen. Barry finally turned to address Kravitz, a smile crinkling his eyes and brightening his face.

“It’s almost time.” He reported, bringing a hand up to rest on the shoulder of his brother-in-law. Kravitz’s worried frown returned as he wrung his hands together.

“And you’re _sure_ he won’t let us all be there for it.” Taako had been adamant the last few weeks, ever since he figured out his life would be coming to an end soon. He had apparently seen it in the way Kravitz treated him like a glass figurine, how his husband was persistent in making sure all his needs and desires were met each day to an _excessive_ degree. And his decision was final: Kravitz was not allowed to watch him die.

 

~~~~~

_“It’s coming up, huh?” Kravitz looked up from the cutting board where he had been meticulously slicing away thin strips from a filet of smoked salmon. His eyes met Taako’s and he blinked._

_“What is?” Taako smiled. The movement was slow, almost like the effort to smile took a toll on him. Everything these days seemed to exhaust Taako. He didn’t look any older, no real obvious differences from how he looked after the events of Wonderland. Elves didn’t age in that way. It was a more subtle transition, a gradual loss in ability and vitality._

_That was why Kravitz was currently the one with the knife, as it had been for the past year or so. Taako’s hands shook too much when he held a knife now and even being a master chef couldn’t correct the irregular cuts. Kravitz had caught him one day staring down at a cutting board covered in poorly diced peppers. Taako had looked up and, before Kravitz could say anything, the elf was flashing him a crooked grin and declaring it was about time Kravitz learned how to julienne a damn carrot._

_“I’m gonna die soon.” Taako’s blunt statement pulled Kravitz out of his thoughts. “Aren’t I, bones?” Kravitz’s eyes widened slightly as he stammered out a response._

_“Dear, you’re not-”_

_“I’m tired.” Taako cut in. “I’m always tired. Everything I do exhausts me to the point of immobility and I know what that means. Did you think I didn’t know what the end of life for an elf looked like?” Kravitz didn’t respond as he carefully put down his knife. “And not that you haven’t been the greatest husband over the years, like you seriously have the patience of a saint to put up with ol’ Taako here, but lately you’ve been **way** too accommodating.”_

_Silence fell between them, Taako patiently waiting for a response as Kravitz fought to compose himself and his words._

_“We didn’t want to tell you until the day was much closer.” Kravitz finally confessed. He’s staring down at the cutting board and just barely registered the sound of footsteps softly walking towards him. A hand reached out to touch his chin and guide his face upwards to see Taako giving that same crooked smile of his. Kravitz reached up and placed his hand over Taako’s, giving a small smile in return. “I suppose it was foolish to think I could keep anything from you.” Taako gave a thoughtful hum._

_“I don’t want you there for it.” Kravitz jerked away, nearly pulling away completely from Taako’s grasp._

_“You WHAT?!” One of Taako’s eyebrows quirked up at the outburst._

_“Lemme rephrase. I don’t want you to watch the life leave my eyes in some super depressing moment of finality when you and I both know death is not the end for people like us.” His explanation calmed Kravitz slightly but the reaper was still wary._

_“Someone must be there to guide your soul-”_

_“And that’s fine.” Taako reached down and picked up a piece of salmon. He held it up, judging Kravitz’s knife skills like he always did, before bringing it to his mouth. “Just can’t be you.”_

~~~~~

 

“All he needs is Lup to shepherd him over here. No point in goodbyes if he’s just gonna see us five minutes later.” Barry reminded him, the same way Lup and Taako had also been reminding him over and over the past few weeks.

“I suppose you’re right.” Kravitz nodded.

“Do you think he knows about the job offer waiting for him?” Barry asked, gesturing towards the Raven Queen seated on her throne as she spoke with another reaper in her retinue. Kravitz shook his head and shrugged.

“I don’t think he’ll be that surprised by it, but-” Before he could finish another rift opened a few feet away, this time Lup stepping through.

But it was only Lup.

 “Lup, where’s…”

“It’s gone.” Lup’s eyes were wide with panic, her gaze darting all around the room as if she was searching for something or someone. Kravitz went rigid and Barry took a hesitant step forward towards his wife.

“What’s gone?” Barry asked, reaching out a comforting hand as Lup shook her head and ran her fingers through her hair, tugging at the strands. By this point the Raven Queen had noticed Lup’s unaccompanied return and distressed state. She dismissed the other reaper and descended her throne to join them.

“Taako’s _soul_ , it’s gone.” Lup stressed, grabbing at Barry’s hand and finally focusing her gaze on him.

“What do you mean it’s _gone_ , how could you lose track of my husband’s soul?” Kravitz finally snapped. Lup looked over Barry’s shoulder to focus on him, her mask of panic hardening to one of defensiveness.

“Watch it skeleman, he’s not just your husband.” She argued, stepping around Barry despite his protests and attempts to hold her back. “You really think I’d be careless enough to lose track of my _twin brother’s_ soul?”

“Well it’s not like you have a flawless collection record.” Kravitz ridiculed, taking his own step forward so he was face to face with Lup. “Honestly, I should have been the one there to collect him. I have the most experience out-”

“Oh, you wanna talk experience?” Lup shot back. “Don’t get me started on how many times I’ve saved your bony ass out in the field.”

“Everyone just calm down.” Barry pleaded as he stepped between Lup and Kravitz to force them apart. Kravitz took another step back on his own, taking deep breaths to calm himself down. Barry turned fully towards Lup. “Babe, could you just…describe what happened.” Lup sighed and tossed her hands in the air.

“I was waiting by his bedside and we were talking about that time in cycle 27 when those weird sentient rock things started following Magnus around like ducklings and I was just counting down the seconds in my head and when his time was finally up…it just,” Her hands dropped to her side and she shook her head again. “…the soul wasn’t there. He went from being living Taako to empty-corpse-on-a-bed Taako. No soul, no nothing.”

“You don’t…you don’t think he would _run,_ do you?” Kravitz voiced quietly from a few feet away. The rage and accusation was gone from his body, replaced by a steadily growing anxiety.

“Taako wouldn’t run, he knows better.” Lup dismissed the idea. Kravitz sent her a look and she rolled her eyes. “It’s literally half his family’s job to track down souls that run, he wouldn’t do that.”

“What if it was taken by necromancers?” Barry suggested. “I’d imagine the soul of an IPRE member would be a pretty hot commodity in some circles.”

“My Queen, do you-” Kravitz turned towards his Lady but paused when he saw a familiar distant look in her eyes, one he only saw when she was forced to search for particularly crafty runaway souls.

“I sense it.” She finally murmured. “I sense his soul.” The three reapers before her perked up in anticipation.

“You know where he is?” Lup asked hopefully. The Raven Queen’s mouth quirked down into a small confused frown.

“Vaguely. He’s not in the Material Plane anymore, but he’s-” The confused frown grew deeper. “It makes no sense for him to be in the Celestial Plane unless…” Her eyes focused once again on the reapers staring expectantly back at her. “I’m going to kill her.” She declared, already storming out of the throne room in a blur of dark miasma and feathers. Lup, Barry, and Kravitz looked at one another before hurrying after her.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished this instead of writing my thesis outline HERE YA GO

The Raven Queen led them all to a separate chamber, one that even Kravitz had only seen in passing a handful of times. To anyone else it would seem like a cozy little sitting room. A comfortable looking loveseat sat on one side and a table was tucked against the opposite wall with two chairs and a tea set waiting on top of it. For the most part the room matched the aesthetic of the other chambers in the Raven Queen’s castle, obsidian walls and black velvet cushions. But if one were to look closer they would notice small details of light here and there. Paintings of vibrant flowers hung on the walls, cracks in the floor were filled with rainbow opal, and a colorful knitted blanket was folded carefully over the back of the loveseat.

The Raven Queen passed by all of this and headed straight for a door set in the wall opposite from the entrance the four of them had come through. She knocked on the door, a series of purposeful taps in a rhythm that was too rapid to be memorized. The reapers heard the click of a lock and watched in awe as the door slowly opened to reveal streaming rays of sunshine, something incredibly out of place within the Astral Plane.

“ISTUS!” The Raven Queen shouted as walked through the door, gesturing a hand behind her to indicate her reapers should follow. “Istus, where are you?!”

As Lup, Barry, and Kravitz stepped through the door they immediately felt the warmth of actual sunlight streaming down on them. The door clicked shut behind them and they looked around at the beautiful and lush gardens suddenly surrounding them. It was as if they were suddenly transported to a tropical jungle but it looked as groomed and cared for as a beloved greenhouse. Actual butterflies, bees, and hummingbirds flitted around them in the air while deer and rabbits calmly traveled along natural paths that cut through the vegetation.

“ISTUS!!!” The three snapped to attention and quickly hurried after their queen as she stormed down one of the paths. They followed along until they reached a clearing, a rounded area occupied by a table covered in gardening tools and a wicker bench with plush white cushions. On the bench sat the Goddess Istus who was knitting a scarf that trailed down and away down another one of the paths until it was out of view.

“Raven!” Istus immediately perked up in her seat, face brightening at the sight of the Raven Queen despite the look of fury on the latter’s face. “How lovely to see you.”

“Where is he?” The Raven Queen demanded.

“Where is who?” Istus asked as she gave a tiny wave to Lup, Barry, and Kravitz who stood awkwardly by their queen’s side. Kravitz and Barry smiled politely while Lup waved back.

“Taako. Where is he? I know you have his soul here.” Istus gave a small laugh that sounded like wind chimes in a soft breeze.

“Well of course I have his soul, where else would it be?” She asked with a shrug as she added a strand of black yarn to her knitting.

“With me!” The Raven Queen shouted as she gestured towards Kravitz, Barry, and Lup.  “With my reapers. Because he _died_ , Istus.” Istus’ blinding smile faded into a small frown of confusion.

“But he’s my emissary, why would he be with you?” The group fell into a silence, the only sounds being the soft buzz of the wildlife around them. Istus’ eyes widened and she tucked her knitting down onto the cushion beside her. “Ooooooooh…I forgot to tell you.” The Raven Queen’s eye twitched ever so slightly.

“ _Forgot. To tell me. What?_ ” She ground out. Istus opened her mouth as if to speak but quickly closed it and instead held up a finger as a request for patience.

“Taako, dear!” Istus called out into the gardens around her. “Could you come here, please?”

Kravitz, Lup, and Barry quickly spun to face one of the garden paths where the sound of footsteps could be heard until finally a figure emerged from the natural shade of the overhanging tree canopies.

It was Taako. A significantly more energetic and youthful looking Taako. He may not have physically aged much in his later years but there had certainly been creases and shadows of exhaustion that seemed to have been wiped clean, making him appear as timeless as Lup.  He wasn’t looking up to see the group before him but rather fiddling with the layered lace of the ivory waterfall dress that covered his body. The lace ran up his throat nearly to the top and stopped short of his shoulders to display his tanned arms. Silver gladiator sandals wrapped around his feet and crawled up his calves, the straps studded with shining opal stones. There was a prismatic shimmer to the fabric, as if sunlight had been woven into the threads themselves.

 “I gotta say, Istus, your taste in clothes is rad _natch_.” Taako complimented, tugging a bit at the layers so they would fall just so. “Huge fan of the aesthetic you got going-” He finally looked up and his eyes widened ever so slightly at seeing his family members until his gaze finally settled on Kravitz and he gave a soft smile. “Well hey there bone daddy.”

Kravitz rushed forward and pulled Taako into his arms, nearly crying with relief to feel he was solid and not some figment playing a trick on him. “I’m so glad you’re alright.” He breathed out.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Taako asked with a slight chuckle, reaching up to wrap his arms around Kravitz’s neck.

“Taako, when you died your soul just disappeared.” Barry explained as Kravitz and Taako pulled away from one another. “Lup was never able to collect it, we had no idea where you _went_.” Lup ran up to Taako in the same fashion as Kravitz and pulled her twin in for a bone crushing hug which Taako quickly returned.

“Honestly thought you booked it and ran for a sec there, Koko.” Taako pulled away slightly, still with his arms around Lup, and gave the group a look of pure confusion.

“But I thought…” His eyes flickered over to where Istus sat on her bench, a very angry but also very relieved looking Raven Queen standing by her side. “I thought you knew I was here with Istus.” Istus gave an apologetic shrug and a small smile.

“I may have forgotten to mention to Raven that I’d be claiming your soul.” She explained with a light wave of her hand. The Raven Queen glared daggers at her as Istus merely smiled.

“Oh.” Taako said and gave a shrug that matched Istus’s. “Oops.”

“ _Oops?_ ” The Raven Queen repeated in disbelief as she turned to Taako, trying hard to ignore the small giggle that Istus let out behind her. “We’ve been panicking and that’s all you can say for yourselves?”

“Hold on, hold on.” Taako cut in, hands up in a placating manner as he pulled fully away from Lup and walked over to the pair of goddesses. “I get that you’re mad that Istus forgot to tell you but hey, everything worked out in the end, right?”

“Literally nothing has worked out!” Barry cut in, throwing his hands up in the air. “The only thing that’s _worked out_ is that we found you so now Kravitz and Lup won’t burn down the Material Plane searching for you!” An outburst from the normally level headed Barry made the group collectively pause for a moment.

“How about some tea while we talk this over, hm?” Istus suggested, clearing away the gardening tools from the nearby table and replacing them with a porcelain tea set with a wave of her hand.

“I’d prefer wine.” The Raven Queen muttered, taking a seat at the table.

“Of course you would Raven, but you’ll be happy with tea.” Came Istus’s quick response, reflexive as if she had to respond in such a way often. The reapers immediately went to stand behind the Raven Queen, positions of respect that were expected of them. Istus took a seat at the opposite end of the table, Taako strolling over to serve the tea as if it was second nature.

“So would you mind explaining to me why you stole my favorite reaper’s husband?” Raven asked, nodding in thanks to the cup of tea Taako handed to her. It was prepared perfectly to her liking. Istus must have told him how to do it.

“Oh please, enough with the negative accusations.” Istus rolled her eyes. “I only forgot to tell you that Taako would be better suited working for me than for you once he died.”

“ _Working_ for you? How would he be working for you?”

“I have various scouts stationed here and there that act as my eyes and ears but they never physically intervene in anything like your reapers do.” Istus waved a hand towards Taako who had finished serving tea and now stood by her side. “That’s what I need Taako for.”

“What exactly does this work entail?” Lup asked her. Reapers acting on behalf of the Raven Queen were a common occurrence but she hadn’t ever heard of the goddess of fate needing much assistance in her work. Istus took a sip of her tea and then began to explain.

“Fate is a little more tricky to keep balanced than life and death.”

“Says you.” Raven muttered.

“People can be stubborn,” Istus went on, giving a pointed look at Raven when she said the word _stubborn_. “Even choosing to ignore the subtle signs and signals I send to them. But with an acolyte, someone to whisper in ears and offer suggestions, it would be much easier to intervene. Taako’s job will be just that, small interactions within the Material Plane to start ripples that grow into waves.”

“And why can’t you do this sort of intervention yourself? Why do you need an emissary?”

“Why do you need your reapers?” Istus asked in response. The Raven Queen paused and considered the amount of effort she’d have to put in if she didn’t have her reapers collecting souls on her behalf. Not to mention the mountain of paper work she was able to avoid.

“…fair.” Raven conceded.

“So how…how safe is this job?” Kravitz tentatively asked, worried about his husband as he considered the dangerous missions that he, Lup, and Barry often went on.

“Oh, perfectly safe!” Istus claimed and sipped at her tea. A moment of silence passed and Raven gestured to indicate she needed a bit more detail than that. Istus nodded. “I’ll elaborate then. Taako will still have his magic and fatal injuries hold the same forgiveness as they do with your reapers.”

“I also have these cool ass scissors now!” Taako spun to show the group his back, half covered by the lacy material of his dress. The back of the dress was open, dipping down to his waist, and sticking out from the edge were large silver scissor handles. Taako gripped these handles and proceeded to unsheathe foot-long blades previously hidden within the fabric of his dress. Taako spun back around, delicately wielding the blades as he ran his fingers along the ornate carvings and crystal opal stones embedded in its metal.

“They can cut threads of fate, bonds if you will, which Taako can then move around and tie to others as per my instructions.” Istus explained, reaching out to lightly tap the scissors. “They also tear spatial rifts and can be used as a weapon like the scythes of your reapers.” Raven watched as Taako returned the scissors to his back and she let out a sigh.

“This is all fine I suppose but how could you forget to tell me about something like this?” Istus gave a thoughtful hum.

“Perhaps it was a subconscious forgetfulness.” The goddess of fate pondered. “I may have assumed in the back of my mind that you’d know he belonged with me. He was my emissary after all.”

 “You didn’t claim any of your other emissaries.” Raven argued.

“Magnus earned an afterlife with his wife and Merle went to Pan, you know that.”

“There seems to be many things you _assume_ that I _know_. You cannot just-”

“To be fair,” Taako interrupted, an action which made the other reapers bristle and tense. They may bicker with their queen but they did not _interrupt_ her. “When you know that everything will work itself out in the future, certain things can seem inconsequential in the present.” He went on to explain, his hands waving a bit in the air as he spoke. “Istus sees the past, present, and future and all its possibilities. With all of that in your head, there’s gotta be a few small things that slip your mind.” He gave a lopsided grin and shrugged as the Raven Queen let out another sigh.

“He’s already making excuses on behalf of his Goddess.” She lamented as Istus smiled with pride at her emissary.

“Oh please, as if Kravitz doesn’t do the same for you.” Istus scoffed playfully.

“Perhaps Taako can remind you to actually tell me things from now on.” Raven remarked, taking another sip of her tea.

“I’m afraid that won’t be the case, my Lady.” Kravitz corrected. “Taako tends to be just as bad with remembering things, if not worse.”

“Well, my _apologies_ for temporarily losing a century of my life to a space jellyfish! I didn’t exactly have a say in the matter.” Taako crossed his arms and sent a look of betrayal at Kravitz who merely rolled his eyes.

 “Love, you forgot to tell me that we were adopting Angus.” Kravitz reminded him. “You just showed up one day with papers and told me to sign them.” Taako blinked and dropped his arms.

“Oh yeah, I did do that.”

“Oh, what a lovely surprise. Children are a delight!” Istus remarked, lightly clapping her hands as she and Taako smiled at one another.

“For the short amount of time you two have spent together so far, you already seem eerily similar.” Barry observed, Lup grinning beside him as she noticed the same thing. Taako and Istus would be a fitting match for sure.

Istus tilted her head and looked at Kravitz who was busy staring at Taako, all the love in the world reflected in his eyes. She smiled and pointed at him and then Taako. “Look at these two.” Raven did as Istus said and turned to look at Kravitz and then back at Taako, a cloak of black juxtaposed with bright iridescence. “They remind me of us when we were younger, wouldn’t you agree?” An immediate blush appeared on the faces of Kravitz and Raven while Taako and Istus giggled behind their hands.

“Istus, please…” The Raven Queen poorly attempted to hide her blush behind the teacup she raised to her face.

“Taako, by the way,” Istus went on. “Has permission to travel wherever he’d like in the Material, Astral, and Celestial planes during his free time. I wouldn’t dream of separating him from Kravitz.” She sent a smile his way and Kravitz bowed his head in thanks.

“So!” Taako clapped his hands together and gave a grin full of mischief, one that was immediately mirrored on Lup’s face. “Who wants to go poke my corpse with a stick?” Raven choked on the mouthful of tea she had just sipped while Istus grinned into her own cup, having looked to the future and anticipated Taako’s words ahead of time.

“Actually,” Barry piped in. “I was thinking we could test this ritual we saw during that mission from a few days ago. We interrupted them before it finished and we only need a body, some diamonds-”

“Barry, it’d bad enough you and Lup openly discuss necromancy in front of me.” Kravitz interrupted, wincing a bit at the disturbed look on the Raven Queen’s face. “At _least_ refrain from doing so in front of our Lady.”

“I’ve got some diamonds you can have.”

“ISTUS, NO.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up over at [madqueenreigns](http://madqueenreigns.tumblr.com/) on tumblr if you wanna chat


End file.
